We all play this game, don’t we? Whether it is about work, life choices, relationships, family entanglements, food, or beverages we are consuming, or recreational consumptions.
I have been watching the series Mayans. It is a spin off from Sons Of Anarchy, picking up with another MC. That is not really my point. There is a character Coco who has been one of my husband’s and my favorites because he is badass and also humorous. Until this season-he has taken a tragic turn to heroin addiction that he still is not even trying to beat and is now betraying his MC. Each episode he is continuing to take the wrong turns.
I have never touched heroin, so do not know how terribly addictive it is, and I believe the point in this is how evilly addictive the substance is since Coco lost his own mother to heroin and swore never to take that path.
What I have battled over the years is playing with addictive unhealthy relationships in my 20’s (they will change; one more chance; they are a good person deep down; aka I’m not worthy of better); drinking to relieve stress/bad days/solve problems (really?); stress eating; making lifestyle eating choices that collapse by the end of the day and then restarting the next on a repetitive wheel; ignoring health issues that I know are easily remedied by what I am or am not consuming/exercising/ better sleep/ negative self-talk.
A friend and I were talking the other day about alcohol consumption. The talk of-I know I am not even enjoying it so why am I still having a drink? I know it is not solving any problems, yet it is an adult privilege that I deserve. Really now? Isn’t being an adult knowing when to say no? Isn’t being an adult making that hard choice of “I know this isn’t good for me, therefore I will stop….”? Isn’t being an adult loving yourself enough to stop yourself from hurting you AND those around you?
I was driving the other day and heard this talk show guy discussing a conversation he had with a close friend who was battling his addiction to chewing tobacco. And the host was saying that he was amazed that for all the battles his friend had overcome, that stopping chewing is the hardest thing his friend has had to overcome. And there as a book that he had read and given to his friend saying something about “You are worth more than what this substance has over you”.
It really hit home for me. The worst part is that I was not able to write down the name of the book and that is not the words he used, but it has stuck with me. Let’s look at this- how many times during the week do you hit the snooze button, skipped a workout, had too many indulgences, snapped at your loved one, ignored housework and left it for your partner, fallen off the wagon, avoided conversations that needed to be had, stress ate, popped that last piece of candy in your mouth without thinking, not thinking consumed two drinks or three cookies until you looked down and see that they are gone?
What good has it done for you? I bet NOTHING. And yet we continue to justify our actions and/or hide them from everyone else. Because we are ashamed. We know better. Our blood sugar skyrockets, we get hot flashes, our clothes do not fit, we do not want pictures taken of ourselves because our skin looks terrible, our blood pressure is through the roof, our joints scream in pain.
Can we fix it? Yes.
Are we worth fixing it? Yes.
Will you fix it for you?